Hi, I’m Angela, I have a husband with bipolar 2 disorder, my kids have ADHD, and I myself have struggled with depression—YOU’RE NOT ALONE! This week’s mental health tips are about premarital counseling-what can I expect?
Last week we talked about 4 main issues you can expect at your sessions and here are 4 more:
5. Intimacy Expectations: Identifying our expectations and communicating them are crucial if we want to grow closer and understand how we come together to love one other.
6. Communication: This issue is always one of the big reasons couples end up in counseling. Starting out with an understanding of how your spouse communicates and how you can improve your communication is so important.
7. Potential Problems: A big part of premarital counseling is a chance to remove the rose colored glasses and acknowledge that you are marrying someone who is flawed and sinful just like you. Psychologist Dan Wile says, “when you choose a partner, you choose a particular set of problems.” I wish I would have read that quote 25 years ago! I’m embarrassed to say that my husband seemed to know that instinctively, but it took me about 9 years to catch onto that truth. Loving your spouse and accepting them for who they are is crucial. That’s what makes it easy to remember why you fell in love in the first place.
8. Conflict Resolution: Learning how to handle conflict in a healthy way is the best thing you can do for your marriage. We all have a “go to” way to deal with conflict, but we can change and choose constructive ways to handle conflict that doesn’t involve stonewalling, exploding, distancing ourselves from each other or being unkind.
Let’s remember what it says in James 4:1-2…
Scripture:
What causes quarrels and fights among you? Is it not your passions at war within you? James 4:1–2
We would all do well to examine our hearts—especially in our marriage relationships.
Question:
What are your thoughts on premarital counseling? Comment below, I’d love to hear from you. And don’t miss the great resources in the notes below that will show you how to connect with premarital counseling tools and counselors.
A big thank you to counselors Dan Bates, Gil Stuart, and Dr. Kristen White for consulting with me on this series, along with His Heart Foundation for supporting this channel. If you want more in-depth mental health information for you and those you love check out mentalhealth.academy today.
Connect to a premarital counselor
Recommended Resources:
Don’t feel like you need to pick just one! Consult with a counselor to see your best fit.
Premarital Counseling Tools
The number one premarital assessment for 35 years. It’s best to go through this with a counselor or trained facilitator.
The world’s more practical marriage assessment. The website can connect you with a facilitator in your area.
A free online program designed by Dr. Gary Chapman, author of The 5 Love Languages
Books:
Hold Me Tight—Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love
The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work
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